God’s Miracles

 

“God works in mysterious ways.”

It is cliche. But it is the truth.

My life would be a living proof of it. 

When I joined YFC, I felt that it did change me. It changed me for the better. I felt that my faith was growing stronger with God. And in everything I do, I always do it with Him. His love is bigger, that even if I am a sinner, he lets me feel that I am worthy of His love and His forgiveness.

But what I did not realize is the fact that, When you choose to grow closer to Him, He will test your faith.

Here comes trials, challenges and problems.

My father got sick. His hands and his feet were getting bigger. Ever since he was a teenager, he experienced this sickness which is arthritis, because of too much intake of alcohol and other bad habits. If you think this sickness isn’t quite serious, it is. Before it wasn’t that painful, but now it became a sickness that you should fear. My father was always in pain and I can’t bear to see him like that. He cries, he does. He can’t even look at us when he does. He wants to look strong in front of his children and his wife, like what every father does. At first, I thought it was okay, because my faith was strong. I knew He had a reason behind it. But days go by, weeks, he was still suffering. It wasn’t easy to take care of a sick person. You have to do everything for them. My father can’t walk and can’t even hold something in his own hands. And I thought that my father can’t be the only one who should be strong, but all of us in the family. Sometimes I feel tired, but I keep holding on. But I want to let go of my faith and the hope of getting our days better. The darkness was too maddening, it’s like I wasn’t allowed to see the light.

Every night, when I walk pass my parents room, my father is there, just looking at the darkness and I hope and pray he doesn’t lose his hope about life because we will always be here for him.

Just imagining that scene where he just stares blankly into the night, I thought how life was so unfair. I started blaming God about it and started questioning His ways. Yes, I did. I asked Him, Why did He chose my father to suffer, when we did nothing but serve Him, praise Him and obeyed His commandments? I asked Him, Why us? When we can’t afford a sickness like this. Why not those rich people? They are fit for these, they can even buy health. Why not all those people who have sins greater than us? Instead of punishing them, you let them do whatever they want and be happy? Why us? I keep asking Him.
Every night, something will remind me of praying, which I always do every night. But I decided not to. I don’t think God ever answers my prayers anyway, I always thought. So I sleep, and here goes another morning with the same problems, same life.

“Do you trust me?” I can always hear Him when I look at the darkness every night.

One day, my parents decided that my father should go to Cebu to see a doctor there. They thought they should risk this, just to heal my father. It was the Holy Week, and they talked about it on Saturday. They decided that he should do confession before going to Cebu. On Sunday, before the mass started, he confessed His sins to the priest. And he told us that he felt lighter after that.

When He came back from Cebu, He was finally okay. He became okay. But it was just in a matter of days. His pain came back again. And I hated the fact that I thought it was time, it was time that finally everything will be okay. But no.

Days go by, and he’s okay again. I don’t know what happened but my father was talking about God and how He healed him. Like, he doesn’t say anything like that before. And I felt that he was changed in so many ways. He was more kind, more understanding, more patient. I call it as a miracle, a miracle God can only do.

Even before these challenges came, I always pray to God to enlighten my parents, to be good people, to be good models to their children. Because before, they were so ill-tempered and close minded. I think the only way to enlighten them was through this obstacle. It was never a hindrance to becoming better, in fact it was the only way. The only way out, is through it. And I can definitely say that we did it together, as a family .

You know the saying of when you lose your way, He will give you struggles and sufferings to make you come back to Him again? I think it was the reason behind all of it.

Faith isn’t something you just talk about nor something you already have, it is something you work on every single day. And for me, I thought that when I grew closer to God, my faith became strong already. But I was wrong. I thought that maybe I should have known. But you know what? It’s okay. It’s part of growing up. Losing faith, hating God, blaming Him, it’s all part of the plan. It is for my faith to be stronger, and for me to be reminded how great God’s love is. That even if we may lose our way, he will still be there. That even if we lose strength, he will be there. That even if we lose faith, he will still be there. He will be there, because He believes that you’ll come back to Him. And when that time comes, He will embrace you with His love and forgiveness because that’s is how He loves us, His children, very much.

 

 

With or without God, life will still be life. It will give you struggles and sufferings, or pain that you couldn’t bear, but the best thing about having God in your life is the fact that you are okay even when these things aim to destroy you, because you’ll know that these will help you and mold you to something greater than you were before. It will help you grow. And that is the thing about faith, it is not about turning okay, faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.

 

What I realized is that God is always here. He will never leave you nor fail you. Sometimes, he answers yes, sometimes no. But what makes a person more patient and gives him the ability to grow is the answer “wait”. We always pray about a lot of things and we think that He’s not listening because our life isn’t making any progress. Sometimes we lose our faith and we blame Him. But that will never be a hindrance in going back to God. I mean like everyone gets tired, we’re just humans. We are meant to experience these things, so blaming God and hating life was part of that. And it’s important to acknowledge that fact. Don’t be afraid to accept realizations, it’s God talking to you, guiding you back.

Have faith in Him, and rely on no one or nothing but only Him. He has a great plan for you. If you have plans, work with God, and you will know that even when everything fails, He will never fail you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When life gives you struggles, don’t fight it, instead listen. It’s life giving you a lesson.

“Where God guides, He provides.”

-Isaiah 58:11

 

 

 

(Photo credit to @kristogram)